I am a writer of science fiction and fantasy who lives with his daughter, three dogs, and two ferrets. I work in sci-tech during my day job. Love goth and metal music. Looking for friendship, dating, and we'll see what develops. I am trying to make "Viking goth" a thing. I have an interest in knives, swords, and other blades and have a modest collection. I also have an interest in guns and do shoot Also, what I want from government is to mostly stay away.

When it comes to personal interactions I tend to have two modes.

One I term "deer in the headlights." Basically, I have no idea what to say. I freeze. It's not just a matter of I need a second to think, I really just have no clue what words should come out of my mouth. I have had folk tell me that this comes off as brusque or downright rude. And, well, I'm not intending to be it's just that a combination of social anxiety and utter cluelessness causes me to freeze. You can be my best friend in the world and I still have no idea what to say.

The second mode is when you get me going on a subject I'm passionate about. Then, the problem is the exact opposite; getting me to shut up. I get motivated about the topic and...well, that just takes over.

There are a couple of lesser modes for special situations as well.

The first of these is "polite greeting." "Hi." "How are you." "Nice day." "Things going well?" "Take care. Have a nice day." Basically "canned" phrases (which doesn't mean that they aren't well meant) that I have sometimes heard described as "polite noises." I can do that. I can even be sincere about it. It's just, you run out of those pretty quickly.

The last is "on stage presence" which is what I use when doing panels at cons or when doing training related to my work. It's sort of a toned-down version of mode 2 that relies on the more formal structure of a panel discussion or a training session to keep me from going overboard as I am wont to do without that structure.

The observant reader will note that what's lacking in there is a "mode" that is useful for social interactions, in particular for meeting new people. It is no great surprise that virtually all of my friends are folk I've met through science fiction conventions and thus were able to interact with initially via "on stage presence". Online also comes closer to that "on stage" than any in person interactions and, so is behind most of the _rest_ of my friends--those I didn't meet through cons, I "met" online. Indeed, I tend to be a lot more "open" online than I'd ever dream of being face to face with all but my absolutely closest friends.

And this lack is one of the major challenges of my life: how to actually meet and get to know people in "meat space" beyond the rote (although never empty, not for me) pleasantries.

Capricorn

Heavyset

5' 9 (1.75 m)

Blue

Caucasian

Divorced

Yes - At Home

Yes

Pierced... But Only Ear(s)

Other

Dog, Exotic Animal

No

Other

Probably The Sisters of Mercy, or any one of several gothic/symphonic metal bands

Hard to say. Who have I read most recently?

This may seem odd, but Batman

YouTube channels like Toxic Tears'.

University Degree

Full-time

Research / Science / Engineering

Sr. Analytical Scientist

$60,000USD To $74,999USD

With Kid(s), With Pet(s)

All Is Calm

No

Yes - One Or Two

Nerd

Reserved, Shy

Reading, Music, Tv, Internet, Fishing / Hunting

Hanging Out With Friends, Trying New Things, Reading A Book, Going To A Museum

Something interesting, like a museum or other place where we can talk but where there's something to do if conversation lags.

Skydiving, SCUBA diving, exploring places nobody's been before.

Agnostic

Never

Libertarian

To make some small mark in the world.

Dry / Sarcastic, Obscure

Dramas

Action, Science Fiction, Comedy, Romance, Drama, Animation, Horror, Thriller

Rock, Metal

Fantasy, Fiction, Horror, Science Fiction, I'm An Author, Romance

Sensitivity, Humor, Thoughtfullness, Intelligence

I'll be honest. I'm not sure. Part of what I'm looking for is to find out what I'm looking for.

Friend, Date, Intimate